i feel like everyone would be better off with me dead

I would rather play with kids then people my own age, I still like toys

I know I am going to relapse soon and I’m afraid the longer I wait, the worse it will be.

Hi

I feel so stressed out because I am not getting the marks I want in school and it’s like no matter how hard I try, my grades just WON’T GO UP! I have a tutor, I go to extra tutorials, I study at home and I write good notes! I can’t spend all my time inside because I get upset and depressed and have the serious case of FOMO (fear of missing out) and I want a social life! I want to hang with my friends and my “boyfriend”. (Special guy that I like who has mutual feelings but we don’t date.) I just wish I knew how to keep up on my school work and have a social life at the same time. I worry about all of this PLUS I’m homesick. Being a foster kid 2 hours away from home and I only visit my family so often. I miss my old friends, old school, old extra curricular activities! I wish I could go home but I can’t, so I’m stuck here in a foster home, with barely anyone to trust. I feel like nobody understands how I feel. I feel like I can’t trust anybody that I talk to, etc. Ugh!

I worry about being myself but still not being good enough.

My friend like this guy that is totally not interested and I think she knows that but she keeps talking about him and it gets annoying sometimes but I don’t know what to say to her because I don’t wanna be rude. I’m just worried that she will try to get close to him and he will totally reject her

I worry that I’m not good enough , I worry that I’ll never find anyone who accepts the way I am , I try so hard to make other people happy but all I’m doing is making everyone hate me more and more

I’m worried my anxiety is preventing me from being myself.

I’m worried that my boyfriend will catch feelings for his female friends

The only thing to fear is fear itself

No one expects a lot from me but I wish they did because it just makes me feel worthless. I wish people would put more effort into being my friend but it feels like no one likes me as much as I like them

I’m terrified. I can feel my depression coming back. Each time is worse than the last and I’m terrified that this time I really will kill myself.

I don’t know how to cope, with anything. Everything seems to be moving too fast. Like my life is a movie on fast forward. I don’t like it. I thought I wanted to grow up and be independent and stuff but now I realize life is pretty hard. I don’t know if I can deal with all the changes and curve balls life throws my way. I’m only 15 but I can’t stop thinking about how much is changing.

I use to think I was pretty the way I was until my parents told me I was the dirtiest looking one in my class just because I don’t ware makeup and do my hair up nice. And now I always look in the mirror and ask my self why do I look this way, why am I ugly, why can’t I look like the pretty girls in my class. I always have those questions on my mind and they just won’t go away, I hope this doesn’t lead to depression or anxiety.

I’m scared of high school everyone looks at you while you walk down the halls and all your thinking is I don’t wanna be here.

Love.

That I will never find a friend, I have no one.

I’m failing math and close to failing science.

Worried that I am going to grow old all alone.