Why can’t my life be over? I wish I could get a serious illness to die from, I don’t want to have a painful death. I do not want to suffer. But then I feel selfish for all the individuals fighting for their lives, and for my family, but why couldn’t they be happy for me and just say, “she’s finally where she wanted to be” Six years, six years in and out of hospitals, off and on medications. Will my life always be like this? I don’t want to cause pain to myself because I experience enough pain in my everyday life, that’s why I want it to end. Will an overdose make me suffer?