I’m a dude and i hung out with this guy all summer who identifies as straight right now and it started as a joke that we were dating but then it turned into almost a real relationship, well it felt real anyways and i told him i was bi but he kept up the flirting and everything else and i fell for him but now he says hes straight and i thought he really did have feelings but i was just led on and now im struggling with a lot of anxiety and depression:/

I live in such a small place and we have a small school with small people and they all have close minds and I can’t stand it. I need to get out I want to leave, I could do so much better somewhere else but I’m stuck here.

I don’t know if what my dad does is emotional abuse. He yells at me, he curses at me, he blames me for things I didn’t do, and it’s usually because he’s “stressed”. Like, man, I get stressed too but I don’t go around punching walls, breaking tvs, and making my kids cry. Then the other side of him comes out where hes cuddly and lovey and says sorry and that he’s an idiot. And then part of me forgives him and I hate it, and I hate thinking that maybe that is emotional abuse because I love him still. I don’t know.

When I see my friend interact with her family, her sister and her dad and her mom, I see a happy family that’s like her and laughs and isn’t perfect but isn’t broken. When I see that I feel so unbelievably happy, and I think “is this how a family is supposed to be? Is my family that dysfunctional and borderline emotionally abusive, that I can’t even tell what a normal family is anymore?”. I think my family is somehow a bit broken. I don’t know how to fix it.

I wanna talk about my dad and my family but what if the person I’m talking to decided it’s an unsafe enviroment? Would I get taken away? I don’t want that to happen. I love my family, we just need some work. My dad specifically.

I’m not sure what me and guidance counselor are doing is what I need. I wanna talk about my problems but she just gives me a worksheet and reads out of a book. It feels too forced. I think all she thinks that’s wrong with me is anxiety. That’s almost laughable. I have so much wrong with me, and I wanna talk about it, but I don’t know how to politely say “can you please just listen to me for a few sessions and then help?”.

It’s been only a year or two that I somehow gained conciousness. Like I’m no longer a mindless zombie going through a routine. I have thoughts and feelings and worries, and a lot of them. I don’t know what to do with them all. It seems like it’s been so long since I’ve been happy for over a week straight that it seems like it’s all I know. I don’t like change at all, so I don’t know if I want it to stop. It’s almost like it’s all I’ve ever known, how do I just be happy?

Whenever life feels good I always seem to find a new thing to fixate on. Like whether or not I should come out, or if I should tell my best friend I love her. I make myself think too much. I don’t know how to stop it.

I don’t know how to talk to people about my feelings unless I send it in a late night facebook message. I give myself time to overthink how the person will respond. I’m bad with talking about feelings face to face. I need help with that.

I don’t know how to cope, with anything. Everything seems to be moving too fast. Like my life is a movie on fast forward. I don’t like it. I thought I wanted to grow up and be independent and stuff but now I realize life is pretty hard. I don’t know if I can deal with all the changes and curve balls life throws my way. I’m only 15 but I can’t stop thinking about how much is changing.

I’m afraid I’ll never be able to be myself. I’ll never be able to come out and have people use the right pronouns and id be happy. What if that never happens? What if I’m just always too afraid to say “I’m not a girl”? Will I be unhappy forever?

This one character on a TV show called The 100 died. She was gay. The show runner told us she wasnt going to die, but then she died from a damn stray bullet. And then a bunch of other gay characters died on other shows. I realized that gay characters die all the time in television, and gay people die in real life too. Why are there so many people who hate us? I don’t understand it.

I’m afraid that I might never get out of this cycle. The cycle of feeling good/okay for two days and then really/moderately bad for three or four.

I’m afraid I have too much love to give and it scares people. I care too much, about everyone and everything and I guess to some pexpletive that can be scary. I don’t want to be scary.

I’m afraid I’ll never be able to tell anyone how I really feel unless it’s in some late night message on facebook.

I used to think I knew a lot. I do know a lot, I guess. In the sense of like reading books and doing math, im okay at it. When I think about life though, when I think about my life and just the general way the world is today I feel like an idiot and I feel pretty scared.

My friend, my best friend, is most likely moving away next year. I love her so much, and she’s helped me through a lot. I don’t know what I’m gonna do without her. She’s the only one who I can be myself around, she’s one of the only people that make me actually happy. I had a vivid dream of her falling through a crack and I couldn’t save her and I don’t know if that’s my subconscious being afraid of her moving or my subconscious fixating on the fact that I don’t know what her new environment will be like so what if she can’t handle it? I dont know anymore.

My gender identity is something I’ve thought a lot about. I live in a small town where people wouldn’t really understand. I’ve told my parents and a few close friends but the thought of coming out to everyone scares me and I think about it so much I sometimes wanna crawl under my covers and never leave.

This one girl in my class that won’t leave me alone. She’s not mean or anything, just really annoying and clingy and she just makes me kind of mad. I’m afraid one day I’ll just snap and yell at her. I don’t want to be mean but I don’t know how to tell her to please leave me alone. I don’t know if I can take her anymore!

I find it really hard to sleep at night, no matter what. When I’m not distracited by friends or technology or homework I can’t stop over thinking and I get these intrusive thoughts that I know aren’t real but I still believe them.