I want the…gold chainz and diamond ringz, but I just can’t live my life like this

I worry that because of the pain people have put me through in the past that I’ll end up being the cause of someone’s suicide. I had someone tell me that they’d kill themselves if I didn’t sent him an explicit video, when I said no, he sent me a video of him attempting to OD. So I had to. People say that if someone blames you for being suicidal then they are only playing a game, I want to believe that but, others have blamed their suicidal thoughts on me and I feel like a monster. I find myself being mean to people without thinking, without trying, I can’t control it. I’ve become a shell of the person I used to be. The guilt is tearing me apart. Today I checked the obituaries to see if an aquaintance killed himself because he miss understood something I had said. I feel like if I could cause pain on purpose then I’d be able to stop myself. But that’s stupid. Today my friend didn’t answer my texts, I thought it was because she was mad at me for saying things to my acquaintance, who is her best friend. So, I skipped out and went home early to cut myself. I’ve only started recently, someone told me it was great so I had to try it. I don’t regret it. I might regret the scars. I’ve started carving my insecurities into my thigh. Things like monster, lovely, evil, fat. … I don’t see myself stopping, even if I want to wear shorts again some day. Other then that I see no point in stopping.

There’s this guy and I really like him A LOT but he only sees me as a friend but some times he acts like my boyfriend he’ll hold my hand cuddle all that stuff but in the end I know this will never change it’ll be me getting hurt when he finds the right girl…..I’m worried I’ll lose him!

Someone tried to tell me that my girlfriend was flirting with my cousin when my girlfriend isn’t even like that and it really upsets me even though she didn’t flirt and I feel like crying and I don’t know why

I feel I’ve spent my whole life hidding the real me. I’ve hurt myself over and over in an attempt to mold myself into a person I can never be, just so everyone else would accept me. I’m scared to be myself because no one would appreciate me, like me, care about me . . . I know this because I don’t even like myself, why would anyone else?

I worry that no matter how hard I try at something I’m always gonna fail

I’m worrying for my pop’s health… Why does cancer have to exist???

My friends always want to hang out with their boyfriends instead of me

Loneliness and darkness are my only friends..

i feel like no one will fall in love with me.

Scared my friend is flirting with me since I have no interest with him

I’m worried my ex tells his new girlfriend my secrets. My friend (who is also his friend) asked me about something I had only told him

My mom is always the one to put me down about my weight

I’m worried that my boyfriend will leave me whenever I start to feel no emotions..

I am worried about my test next week. 🙁

I’m not sure what my sexual orientation is and I’m afraid my friends are gonna judge me

I feel overwhelmed by all my school work and studying for finals, and on top of that, I have a choir performance this weekend that I wasn’t told about. My best friend just started dating the guy I love, but I don’t want to say anything because she seems so happy, but everytime I see them kiss, I think of the way he used to kiss me and tell me everything was gonna be okay. I struggle in school because I’m dyslexic and I have anxiety, and bipolar depression. And all my friends joke around about these disorders and it hurts because they have no idea what it’s like to wake up and contemplate killing yourself because you don’t want to face the day. But for some reason, I’m still here. I’m still kicking. And I guess I’m a little bit glad for that.

I started flirting with a guy three years older then me who’s in foster care. We both developed feelings, but it stressed me out too much and I lost romantic feelings. His father left when he was younger, and I’m afraid he feels like I abandoned him too. I can’t deal with the guilt of it.

Last month my cat died, he was like my bestfriend he always listened to me talk about my problems and was always there to cuddle . And Im so depressed over it…

I keep having days where everything feels wrong. I haven’t been to school the last 3 days cause I told my mom I’m sick but I’m just sad. I don’t know what it means, it just keeps happening. I don’t know how to talk about it. I don’t know what it is.